One-upmanship

One-upmanship or as it's more commonly called: The Pissing Contest. Why is it that when something happens in your life, whether it's good or bad, there's at least one person that you share the news with that invariably has it better or worse than you do? Not only that, but however bad your news is, they don't just have it bad - their news is catastrophic bad? So, instead of your friend commiserating with you over your bad fortune, you wind up consoling them over whatever problem has reared its ugly head and stolen your moment. Doesn't that just suck?

Now, imagine that the person one-upping you constantly is your own mother! How's that for a kick in the head? It wouldn't matter if I won the lottery; she'd win a bigger lottery or else marry someone with more money than the Pope. It's virtually impossible for me to call her and have a conversation relating to anything that pertains to me. She might ask me how I'm doing but she immediately turns the conversation around to her and her aches and pains, her stomach problems and how she can't sleep at night. Oh, and don't worry, she's got more doctors than the President, takes more pills than Courtney Love and has had more surgery than Joan Rivers has had face lifts. My mother is 70 years old so I tend to let her rattle on about it all as I work a crossword puzzle. Trust me - It's just easier.

My sister-in-law is just as bad as my mother. She will interrupt you or talk over you to make her point about how bad her back pains are or how difficult it is to get up, sit down or straighten up. All this from a woman who substitute taught some aerobics/jazzercize classes and the students referred to her as the Terminator. She'll be getting her personal trainer certification, or whatever it is, soon. I don't have much sympathy for her; she's younger than me and in much better shape, obviously. I let her rattle on, too, because if I didn't, she'd just talk over me or interrupt me again seconds later. We don't talk much anymore; I got tired of all the interruptions.

Is there anyone in your life that drives you up the wall by always one-upping you? Leave a comment and tell me about. I promise not to interrupt or to one-up you.

Petition to Change Monday to FirstDay

I believe we should petition to change Monday's name. Mondays SUCK. No argument there and I'm not trying to change anyone's mind about it either. We should have an alternative to Monday. A day that doesn't induce depression and a desire to slit one's wrists when its name is mentioned. I don't know about the rest of you but I've been working most of my life, since I was 15 and I'm on the backside of 45. That's 30 years of my life and that sucks, too. Being a slave to the time clock only makes Monday seem that much worse. Think about it. Thirty years worth of Mondays are enough to drive even the sanest person to drink and that's probably the least awful option. I've had some really bad Mondays, too. I've walked through the workplace door and thought, "If he says one word to me in the wrong tone..." or if she had looked at me cross-eyed, I would've snapped. I do understand how people go "postal" and for me, it's because there's just not enough time away from the pressures of the job and coworkers. Add to that, all the errands that have to be run on the weekend because you're too tired after work or don't have time to do them during the week. There's laundry, house-cleaning, yard work, and just trying to rest up from the work week. What happens when kids are added to that mix? I'd have the screaming mimi's nowadays if I had to deal with obnoxious kids on a Monday morning. I still dread waking up on Monday morning knowing I have to go to work. Now that I can't afford to retire in 4 years like I had planned, having a business where I love what I do sounds like a dream. I'm just not sure whether it would be enough to support me and mine in this current financial climate. Or maybe if I didn't have to wake up to yet another Monday, I could get through the week without wanting to kill myself or some idiot coworker that won't shut up. So, my plan: Change Monday to FirstDay.

Right now - today - we need to unite and take a stand! Mondays are detrimental to our mental health and as such, need to be addressed during the upcoming universal healthcare discussions. Add your name to the comments section below. We can do this!